Old dog, new tricks – the benefits of life coaching in the third quarter
A reflective piece today on the potential benefits of life coaching.
Introduction
As many of you know, I have been a successful sports coach over the journey. Multiple countries, different national teams, many different athletes, both male and female, school and club teams, ages of 14 to mid-20s. I am still in contact with many of these athletes, some from over 25 years ago.
As an experienced former high performance athlete and coach, I have asked myself what could a finance and governance executive seek to gain from seeking some external life coaching? How might I keep developing the tangible performance links and habits between high performance sport and the best of financial services and continue to evolve as a person and professional?
I’ve been in a high performance corporate environment in numerous sectors (for example credit, real estate investment, alternatives like PE, Ag, VC and hedge funds) and in different settings (Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane, San Francisco, Atlanta and New York). I have always sought to operate at an elite level in sport and life. However, could there be a time for a reset and to reflect on the my life experiences and to use this previous catalogue of work to actually better prepare for what the future may hold from a life, career and client perspective?
Using Australian football vernacular, in your 50s, one is likely to be in the ‘time-on’ phase of the third quarter of your career. So how does your final quarter look – challenging, engaging, interesting and active or blandly petering out cruising to the finish line? I know my choice. I choose action - engaging, interesting and active.
The Power of Coach Rach Taylor
To answer some of these burning questions, I decided to get in the ‘mirror room’ with the legend that is Rach Taylor.
Rach is one of my motivators for seeking out this coaching journey and to reconnect with a dear friend. Rach has recently started her own life coaching business, and I thought that if I was going to get some life coaching, Rach would be a fantastic fit for the job – bringing high energy, empathy and truth.
Rach is a no-nonsense, straight-shooting Olympic medallist in the very demanding sport of rowing. We’ve known each other for 30 years and I have always admired her raw spirit and her ability to bring out the best of those around her.
Rach recently did this post for her business that hit me between the eyes:
https://rachtaylorcoaching.com/the-chrysalis/
One of the reasons for highlighting this link is to depict the flavour of my coach – authentic, brave, supportive and especially no BS.
So, I now have the mirror room (code for making the decision to being present, reflective and open to feedback) and I have the coach to help get the most out of the mirror room – so what comes next?
What did I want to get out of life coaching? (hint, rowers make good role models)
There are many reasons one might want to seek life coaching. Much of it is ‘forward looking’, strategic, structured, designed to seek marginal gains and to assist with life’s resets. There are numerous websites out there of all these types of coaching systems and the products that are available.
I was drawn to Rach because of her strong character and due to her being a former elite athlete and Olympic medallist. Rach has rich life experience that I knew at least in the first instance, her high performance knowledge would be helpful for framing up engaging and challenging coaching experience from the ‘get go’. Let’s just say we’ve absolutely ‘hit the ground running!’
Most of the successful athletes I know tick a little different to most. The best of the rowers are absolute forces of nature. Examples who I know and admire include Drew Ginn, Peter Antonie, Xeno Muller, Olaf Tufte, Jamie Koven and Porter Collins - all either Olympic and/or World Rowing Champions and also extremely high performers in their other life and career pursuits – seriously impressive people.
So, what do these former athletes do differently? There are many things of course, however some traits that most resonate for me is they all display the ability to think critically, get in the ‘mirror room’, problem solve, work through adversity and come out the other side, landing better in life for having faced the challenges they did head-on, usually with resilience, humility and grace.
Most non-athletes don’t realise that these types of World and Olympic Champions don’t always win. They lose, they get beaten up on the racecourse, they have injuries, they sometimes don’t win that medal they strived for – sometimes over a period of three Olympiads – or 12 or so years to the mere mortals out there.
The adversity, the struggle and resilience of these athletes put them in what I believe to be a unique situation of developing certain ‘muscles’, behaviours and coping mechanisms to continue to strive, particularly when the ‘chips are down’. The ability to continually evolve is strong.
Athlete mindset to reset
So being a former and now retired athlete and coach, the striving mechanism is still very much alive and so is the resilience ‘button’. However, as I’ve learned from Rach recently, we all carry certain ways of doing things and ‘identities’ with us through life and there comes a time when we may need to shed a certain identity or habit over life’s journey. I am currently going through this at the moment in a number of ways including the slow transition from a fulltime corporate advisory executive to building on the corporate governance work I do for some clients. Being open to new experiences and shedding old ways or identities is healthy during the active reflection stimulated by effective life coaching.
Reverse mentoring and the next generation
Another great privilege I have right now is to support my son Sean McNeil with his entrepreneurial spirit, new businesses and to also develop the grace to accept the reverse mentoring coming my way from Sean in numerous ways, including with AI, technology, marketing, social media and the ability of a 19 year old to work across international borders and connect with digital natives across a broad cross section seamlessly. Also going from a Dad to a business partner with Sean is also exciting and a new identify I am embracing. New identities can emerge even when not expecting them!
Old dog, new tricks
I have only commenced my coaching with Rach over the past few weeks and have already made some great progress. Some key takeouts include:
The only way out is through. If one is stuck, you must work through it. Staying stuck is not an effective option. Careers and relationships evolve and that is okay. Challenge yourself and try to go with the evolution! Go through – not around!
Seek outside guidance if you want to get in the ‘mirror room’ and have ‘a good hard look at yourself’. The mirror room can be a fun place with the right coach. Reflect on what might have been with your old self while realising that your emerging self has a great opportunity to be better, if you are brave enough to reflect honestly.
Reimagining your identity as you move though life is actually a good thing and natural. The identities you hold close may not be the right identity for ‘the now’. New identities can be daunting but staying put may not be right for you either. Or as Mark Manson says – choose your pain – for example old identity versus new. The old identity may be comfortable whereas the updated identity could completely open new opportunities for your next ‘quarter’ of life and career.
Tuesdays with Morrie
Having done some study in the field of economics, I have always enjoyed this quote attributed to John Maynard Keynes: “in the long run we are all dead” which emphasises the importance of addressing immediate economic issues rather than solely focusing on long-term outcomes.
As part of the reflection of the coaching experience, I have had the pleasure of reading the book ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’ by Mitch Albon. The key personal takeout from this book (and may be somewhat morbid and Keynesian) is in the long run we are all dead and that you shouldn’t wait until you are 75 to live your best life. Address any concerns or aspirations now - your best life is what you make of it today. Don’t wait. In the long run…you know the rest.
Make some lemonade
The athlete mindset knows and deeply understands that life will give you some servings of really ‘interesting’ lemons. Often this serving of lemons is a great chance to reset, reflect, and to go make some lemonade. Get some tools to understand that if you get up in the morning and get in the arena, you will get your serve of lemons – that is the art of living – being prepared for the good, the bad and potentially the ugly. How you deal with the lemons is the most important piece – do, or do not, thrive or stagnate. A life coach might just be the answer to show you how to make the lemonade! Because the lemons will invariably arrive…
Conclusion
In closing, I am a retired rowing coach and definitely not a life coach. There are similarities between the two areas of coaching. However, outside guidance from a qualified life coach holding a master’s degree in human resources has been illuminating. The athlete in me can understand the process of ‘building better’ in career and personal capacities – Rach has helped create the platform to enhance future performance.
I am navigating what the fourth quarter of my career might look like. I can say with absolute clarity that engaging with Rach as my life coach has been a significant step in making the next 20 years or so of work look more meaningful through exploring identity, getting in the ‘mirror room’ and working through life’s potential blockages, rather than stepping around them – ‘the only way out is through!’
To paraphrase Theodore Roosevelt’s Man in the Arena speech, “in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if they fail, at least they fail while daring greatly, so that their place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”
So, I am continuing to choose to be in the arena. Athletes understand the arena of life – life’s wins, losses and lemons. One must be in the arena to earn the wins. I am also grateful for the influence many fine athletes have had on me, and particularly right now - Rach Taylor.
Integrity, resilience, service and meaning form my bedrock. Rach is helping me to use these foundations to be even more impactful for my clients, family and friends through engaging in meaningful life coaching in the third quarter, and I can’t wait to keep cracking on with life with better tools and emerging new and improved identities.
https://www.andrewsmcneil.com/
https://rachtaylorcoaching.com/